(Photo courtesy of: Chelsea Jackson Villines)
Those of you that have one, two, three, or even seven boys will understand what I mean by this – boys can be the sweetest human beings one minute and become the most destructive human force on this earth the next minute. Just the other day, I was making breakfast for boy #2 (Chex with local honey and milk- his FAVORITE!) and in his sweet little voice he goes “Mommy, you’re my best friend! I want to marry you!” MY HEART JUST MELTED!! I immediately hugged him and told him “You’re my best friend and I LOVE you too!!” Ten seconds later, that child had his older brother in a headlock position! STORY OF MY LIFE AS A BOY MOM!!
Some of you may not know this, but I’m known as the deaf girl from western Oklahoma! I haven’t let my disability stop me from reaching my goals in life and one of them was to be a MAMA. Nine years ago, I met the man of my dreams and knew immediately we were meant to be together for life! Before we got married, I made sure that he knew that all I ever wanted to do was be a mom to lots of kids. Eight years later, I’ve enjoyed being a mom to not just one or two boys but THREE boys. And BOY, life is interesting with each one of them and I would love to share a few of my stories and maybe some tips:
1st- BOYS CAN BE ROUGH! Boys are rough with their toys, rough with their siblings, rough with their animals, and some boys can be affectionate in a “not so gentle” way! Let me tell you a few things I have observed! I had my niece over one day and she wanted to read a book. She was sitting there so sweetly reading her book quietly and slowly. Meanwhile, my son gets a book out, flips thru the pages as fast as he could, and then tosses the book down on the ground to move to the next thing he wanted to destruct – his brother! One afternoon, I looked outside and boy #2 was pretending our lab was his bucking bull and he was attempting to ride her. Talk about cheap entertainment! As a mom of three boys, I have learned to just let boys be boys and intervene ONLY when necessary. I think my fellow boy moms understand what I mean by this!! Now before I go on, I want to stop and remind you that what I am saying certainly doesn’t apply to all boys!
These are just my personal observations of my own boys. So, what do I mean when I said some boys even show their affection in a “not so gentle way”? Let me explain! My oldest is so sweet and gentle when he hugs me and gives me a kiss before he goes to school. Then along comes the second boy!! He will kiss so gently and then all of a sudden, I’m in a head lock position in his arms (that’s his way of hugging!). I’m constantly saying “be gentle with mama!” I think it is important from an early age to model what is appropriate. So how do you deal with ROUGH boys? The best way to deal with them is to love them just the way they are but also show them a better way as needed!!
2nd- BOYS LOVE THE OUTDOORS! During this past winter, we were stuck indoors for days that turned into weeks due to frigid temperatures or the crazy wind. My boys can only handle the indoors for so long before they get cabin fever, so I just bundled them up and sent them outside! They ended up being out there for a long time pretending they were hunters hunting for bears and lions! Then they came inside begging for HOT chocolate! Just last week, we spent 3 hours at the farm hiking, throwing sticks in the creek, looking for deer antlers, and peeing in the creek (not me, the boys!). Of course we had to take a break to have snacks. Why do most boys love being outside so much? When they are outside they’re able to see, hear, touch, smell, or even listen to things that are just not available inside. The outdoors encourages them imagine things and use their large muscles. If your boy wants to go outside when it’s COLD or hot, let him go! His body will let him know when he needs to come inside. And even if they don’t want to go outside, send them anyway because they will love it.
3rd- BOYS ARE DIRTY! A few weeks ago, I used the guest bathroom that I hadn’t used in a while and as soon as I sat down a WIFF of the most DISGUSTING smell entered my nostrils. It smelled like the most disgusting pee you’ve ever smelled. I immediately retrieved the Clorox spray and started spraying down the toilet and then I see yellow stains all around the bottom of the toilet. It blows my mind that little boys have such a hard time AIMING for the water inside the toilet! Another crazy dirty story is what happened one day when I made the boys go outside for a while. (Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes I even lock the door to keep them from coming inside. Don’t panic, they are always in my sight). On one particular day, I got a little “feeling” that I needed to check more closely on the boys. I looked outside and saw that one boy was stripped down to his underwear and the other one was completely naked!! They were enjoying the one and only mud puddle in our yard! They were “running around like chickens with their heads cut off” covered with mud! I just turned around and went back to what I was doing and prayed that the neighbors were not home at that time! So my tip for boy moms is to let boys get dirty. BOYS love the feel of sweat or dirt on their body!
The one thing I have figured out is that each boy responds differently. My oldest responds differently than my middle child to discipline or love or even food. I have learned that I have to treat each boy uniquely and love each boy just the way they are! Remember-all these stories/tips are my own thoughts. All you boy moms have your own unique stories/tips. I remember my mom telling me when I had my first child “you and your husband will just have to figure out what works best for you two with parenting!” I could go on and on with more stories and tips but since all 3 boys are asleep and dad is gone, this BOY mom needs to enjoy her chick flicks I’ve recorded for weeks- This is US, Grease, and the Wonder Woman movie!!! Until next time!
